How to handle arguments in a relationship

Arguments and conflicts in a relationship are normal and inevitable, and while some people may fear them, conflicts can be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and teach you how to better support one another.

It’s not about whether or not you have conflict in a relationship; the important thing is how you approach it. Read on to learn how to handle arguments in a relationship and how to fight fair in a relationship.

Why do we fear arguments in a relationship?

Feeling anxiety about conflict—especially if you’ve never learned how to handle it in a healthy way—can be completely normal. It may have to do with the common association between conflict and negativity from a young age and not having learned the skills necessary to navigate and overcome conflict productively.


If you don’t ever experience conflict in your relationship, it may be a sign that you are avoiding important conversations or dealing with conflict superficially. If that’s the case, it might be helpful to consider digging into your beliefs and fears around conflict as well as what resentments you may hold as a result of conflict avoidance.

Rather than avoiding conflict, denying it, dreading it, or allowing it to destroy your relationship, it might be better to try to accept conflict and learn how to approach it in a productive way.

Common arguments in relationships

There are many different types of conflict you may face in a relationship. Some common things couples may argue about are:


Financial pressure can put a strain on a relationship, especially if conversations about finances turn sour, there’s a financial imbalance between partners, or the subject is avoided altogether.

Unmet expectations

When one person does not live up to the other’s expectations, it can create conflict. You can try to avoid this by revisiting your expectations along the way so that you can make sure you are both on the same page.

Lack of trust

Without trust in a relationship, you cannot have peace or growth. Try to have a conversation to find the source of this emotion and address it. Read More